


The ”Stab Crab” incident

by TheCrimsonValley



Series: Campfire stories [1]
Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Light-Hearted, crab with knifes, don't arm crabs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:03:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21504163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrimsonValley/pseuds/TheCrimsonValley
Summary: Pearson brings back some still live crabs, while his back is turned Javier get's a brilliant idea. It backfires. Hilarity ensues
Series: Campfire stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1549999
Comments: 10
Kudos: 82





	The ”Stab Crab” incident

**Author's Note:**

> This is my drabbles of everything and nothing in the camp/around missions. Be aware that everyone in these stories will be huge dorks/idiots/goofs. Please enjoy.  
> All notebook sketches by [Natt_The_Tired](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natt_the_Tired)

“What where you thinking?” 

Pearson's shout rung strongly throughout the entire camp, alerting anyone that had somehow managed to remain unaware of the situation. In the back of his mind, Arthur felt certain that even Uncle must have been partly shaken out of his rest by the velocity of the clamour. 

“I... thought it would be fun” came Javier's response, the young man's shoulders slumping down in defeat. 

In a moment of silence all gathered parties turned their attention to the point of the entire ruckus. Crawling along the grounds were a crab of rather massive stature, a tasty treat whose destiny was to end up in Pearson's pot. Now, that in and on itself was no cause for grief but clenched into its pincers rested a sizeable knife of which the creature had taken a habit of waving about in irregular intervals.

Furrowing his brow, Arthur gandered at his companions. He felt fairly certain that if the crab were not disarmed in time Pearson would gladly turn Javier into minced meat and serve him up. There had not come one peep out of Dutch, much to his own surprise, the self spoken leader of their band of misfits just scratching his neck as if still in disbelief about their predicament. 

“It's just a bloody crab!” 

Bill was the one to break the silence, stepping forward with the vigour of a man who had forgotten his drunken rants the other night. There came no protests, the rest of them observing in what direction things were going to head, only a low mutter coming from Hosea of how the man “should not make a greater fool out of himself than he already was”, the comment falling into a deep silence. 

“We just grab it and...” 

Barely halfway through his sentence, Bill's voice got drowned out by his own yelp of pain, delivered with such force a few nearby nesting birds took flight into the skies. Almost simultaneously those gathered around took a step backwards. In the corner of his sight, Arthur observed how Lenny almost back flipped over an unfortunately placed chair. By the time they all took a collective breath Bill had pulled back in retreat, grasping his ankle, a crimson stain already having seeped through the fabric of his pants. 

The first thing to break the silence of surprise were Sean's laughter. Soon enough the Irishman was splitting his guts bent over slapping his knees. Feeling himself give a light chuckle, Arthur admired the foolish courage of the young man. The look Bill was shooting them all would have been enough to make the bravest of men cower in fear, yet Sean showed no sign of stopping with his amused snorts.

“Let's all just get this over with” Dutch spoke, finally gaining his composure in light of the situation “how about we try to get behind it if we keep it...” 

“Dutch” Arthur responded, choking back a grin “you really expect us to listen to a plan of flanking a crab?” 

A small sense of pride spread through him as he heard the collective of amused sniggers from everyone gathered, ignoring completely the icy stare from his mentor. 

“Then, have any suggestion on how to solve it?” came their leader's answer. 

“Thought you were the expert on small irritable critters, you were the one dragging back Marston.” 

Another row of laughters, a tad more relaxed now than before erupted, though they all made sure to keep their good distance from the shelled critter still scurrying about in an unpredictable zig zag pattern on the ground. 

“Very funny Arthur” John snapped back as he rolled his sleeves up. 

It was a sign. One that he knew too well. John Marston was about to do something incredibly idiotic and he found himself too amused with it to stop him. He could hear the loud sigh from Hosea, seeing the older man tugging the brim of his hat down as if to shield himself from the entire situation, quickly followed by the low murmur from Charles of how he “wanted nothing to do with this”. 

Eyes locked onto John, Arthur simply observed the brash youngster wipe his lips with his sleeve as he approached the beast that by now seemed to have them all trapped in its tight pincers. No plan as usual. That was all he could think as he watched John throw himself, chest first, towards the still armed creature, as if thinking the crab would be grabbed by fear at the mere sight of him.

Almost as if the creature had predicted it, it side stepped, scurrying over towards another edge of their small circle. The result were a messy squishing sound, John sliding about half a meter in the still damp grass, large dirt trails slapped onto his cheeks and eyes full of regret. The mere sight were enough to send Sean into another fit of laughter ending in loud wheezes of amusement. 

“'Take it back Dutch” Arthur sniggered “now I think it would be easier to teach that crab to help with business.” 

He observed how John seemed to eye the crab, the vacant stare in his eyes telling that perhaps he was contemplating an alliance with this creature. 

“Why not shoot the damn thing!” Bill snarled. 

“If you got ammunition to waste on it” Arthur muttered back. 

“Anyone shoots it they pay up for it!” Pearson chimed in, his tone as defensive as it was defeated. 

Barely had those words left his lips before there came a ringing shoot throughout the camp, causing them all to jump out of surprise. Where there had once been the scurrying creature were now nothing but an almost hollowed out shell of what could have been a meal. 

“There, you complete idiots!” 

With a click of the tongue, Miss Grimshaw looked at them, the still smoking rifle rested in her hands. Feeling her icy stare flowing like water over them Arthur turned his glance, holding back any snide comments, well aware that it was not worth picking a fight with her when she was riled up enough to use firearms. The only line coming was a more than pathetic whine from Pearson about what a waste of a meal that were. 

“If you're all done prancing around like a bunch of little schoolgirls, I suggest you get your asses back to work” 

Turning her heal with a comment about “useless menfolk!”, they all observed her storming off. Almost in union the rest of them glanced over at the small smoking pile that had been the cause of such a great ruckus. 

“There falls another one, claimed by the will of a woman” Sean said, his lips still cracked up into a grin leaping from ear to ear. 

“Shame too” Arthur sniggered “that one could have been more useful than Marston” 

For once his mind did not protest when he felt the smack of dirt and crab remains hitting the side of his face. The look on John's face was enough to pay for the slight clean up it would take.


End file.
